


Top

by sidebyside_archivist



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-01
Updated: 2003-11-01
Packaged: 2020-06-22 04:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19659937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidebyside_archivist/pseuds/sidebyside_archivist
Summary: Kirk sings Spock a song. The ultimate silliness.





	Top

**Author's Note:**

> Note from LadyKardasi and Sahviere, the archivists: this story was originally archived at [Side by Side](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Side_by_Side_\(Star_Trek:_TOS_zine\)) and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2019. We tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Side by Side’s collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/sidebyside/profile).
> 
> Author's Notes:
> 
> Note: The song is from Ella Fitzgerald.
> 
> Beta: Farfalla. Is the greatest.

“At words poetic I’m so pathetic   
That I always have found it best   
Instead of getting ‘em off my chest,   
To let ‘em rest — unexpressed.”  
  
“On the contrary, that is the last characteristic anyone would ever associate with you, Jim. What bizarre phase are you going through this time?”  
  
“I hate parading my serenading,   
As I’ll probably miss a bar,   
But if this ditty is not so pretty,   
At least it’ll tell you how great you are.”  
  
“Ah. This is another Spock-worshiping session. Very well, you may proceed.”  
  
“You’re the top! You’re the Colosseum,   
You’re the top! You’re the Louvre Museum…”  
  
“Jim, is there a reason you have suddenly begun comparing me to buildings? I am not the heavier partner in this relationship… and if I were, why does that make me ‘the top’? I would think it would be the other way around.”  
  
“You’re the melody from a symphony by Strauss,   
You’re a Bendel bonnet,   
A Shakespeare Sonnet,   
You’re Mickey Mouse!”  
  
“If that last line referred to the size of my ears, let me remind you that you are exaggerating, and that the shape, at any rate, is all wrong.”  
  
“You’re the Nile! You’re the Tower of Pisa!”  
  
“That is illogical. I am not a river. The water content of my body is lower than yours. I also do not lean forty-five degrees to the side; nor does any part of me.”  
  
“You’re the smile on the Mona Lisa!”  
  
“Equally illogical. I do not smile.”  
  
“I’m a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop!”  
  
“You are not in the least bit floppy. Are you attempting to elicit compliments from _me_ now, Jim?”  
  
“But if baby I’m the bottom,   
You’re the top!”  
  
“This reiteration of our sexual preferences is as inaccurate as it is irrelevant. In the past, we have always allowed that issue to vary widely depending on our moods. Are you proposing a shift to more clearly defined roles?”  
  
“You’re the top, you’re Mahatma Gandhi…”  
  
“I suppose there is some similarity.”  
  
“You’re the top! You’re Napoleon brandy…”  
  
“Are you intoxicated?”  
  
“You’re the purple light, of a summer night in Spain,   
You’re the National Gallery, you’re Garbo’s salary,   
You’re cellophane!”  
  
“Yes. You are intoxicated.”  
  
“You’re sublime, you’re a turkey dinner…”  
  
“I am not a turkey dinner. I would not even eat a turkey dinner. As you are well aware.”  
  
“You’re the time of the Derby Winner…”  
  
“I never dared imagine that you would bring your fascination with horses into our bedroom, Jim.”  
  
“I’m a toy balloon that’s fated soon to pop…”  
  
“A moment ago you were suggesting that _I_ was overweight.”  
  
“But if baby I’m the bottom you’re the top!”  
  
“If you are not careful, I shall raise my eyebrow at you.”  
  
“You’re the top, you’re a Waldorf salad…”  
  
“Preferable to a turkey dinner.”  
  
“You’re the top, you’re a Berlin ballad   
You’re the nimble tread of the feet of Fred Astaire   
You’re an O’Neill drama, you’re Whistler’s mama, you’re Camembert!”  
  
“I _am_ going to raise my eyebrow at you.”  
  
“You’re a rose, you’re inferno’s Dante…”  
  
“If this is going to be another comparison between me and the devil…”  
  
“You’re the nose, on the great Durante…”  
  
“First your fixation was on my ears. Now my nose?”  
  
“I’m a masy leroux who’s just about to stop   
But if baby I’m the bottom,   
You’re the top!”  
  
“Jim, I hate to use the phrase, but… Shut up and kiss me.”  
  
“MmmmmmmMMMMMMM!”  
  
***  
  
“Mmm, that was good.”  
  
“Indeed.”  
  
“Spock?”  
  
“Jim?”  
  
“I was right. You’re the top.”  



End file.
